like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
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I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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