But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
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she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
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Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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