Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize