I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize