like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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