Your dad touched me again.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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