so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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