worst night to have a conscience
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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