I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize