i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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