STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
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It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
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I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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