You're my little dorito
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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