My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
And then he peed in my hair
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