My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize