If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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