Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
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And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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