nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm always down for nudity.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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