Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize