Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
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