dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize