Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize