True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
All I want is dick and wine.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize