running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize