Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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