I want to have your abortion
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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