PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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