im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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