thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I AM VODKA MAN
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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