Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize