why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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