yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
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almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
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I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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