My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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