i permit you to call me
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize