Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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