The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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