Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
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If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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