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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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