Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize