grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize