Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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