I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
