Pappa wants mamma naked
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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