12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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