I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize