Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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