Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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