I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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