I love black thongs
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
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If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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