I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I wish there were birth control emojis
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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