Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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