the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
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Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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